The World of Stand Up Paddling

             The world looks different from up here. The water is far below. Kayakers and canoeists have to look up or pretend to ignore me. Their  choice. I can go eye to eye with power boaters knowing they can cause me grief with their wake. I did start on my knees but now am erect, centred over the board with my long paddle spearing the water. I did return half way to the beach to ensure I could get back and not arrive in Hawaii without my custom declaration properly filled in. A little girl with her mother plus one black and white terrier called Pickles watched me with interest go back out. I think Pickles had thoughts of a free ride to anywhere. I am sporting a trendy inflatable waist PFD which will inflate within 5 seconds if I jerk fully on the yellow pull-tab. I have lots of sun protection oil plus I wearing a sap green T shirt. The growl of a motor  boat moves away, it has no interest in me but I have much interest in the quake it could generate. Today I have fast tippy board so testing my balance and core prowess. Last week I saw some people doing Yoga on these boards. I did try standing on one leg, but  immediately fell of the board, thus testing the effectiveness of the black three meter leash which radiates from the two hour rental board. I did not lose my cap or sun glasses.

            A swimmer is in my way. Do they realise I don’t have much control? There is a sparkle in the water and the wind is coming from the East and I am my own sail. The temperature is  20C . Two sea gulls swoon so I know land must be ahead. A cabin cruiser tugs by. Do they feel sorry for me or envy me? I don’t have a destination but I think I will aim for the park. I am looking up at the Cerulean blue sky with the one lone white cloud. Is the cloud moving? I see antennae towers on top of Mount Seymour. Yagi and bicononicals antennas, all making waves  of different frequencies. Is anyone talking about me? My board glides through the water with a swish. I am sure there are fish swimming underneath. Perhaps a crab is spying on me?

            I can’t hear music, but I imagine Puccini’s Tosca music. What about Smetana’s Moldau or Claude Debussy’s La Mer? I could move it along with some Krautrock or Chillout music. Perhaps more than a two hour rental is required for this imagined music. I hear a splash and I see SUP boarders to my starboard. There is a dog on one of the boards. Two of the SUPers are on their knees. I see a catamaran traversing to my port side. What is its speed what is my speed? What is our relative speed? A wave from nowhere jolts me back to reality. The omnipresent question returns will I lose my sun glasses if I fall in?

            When I talk about SUP, people’s reactions are the same.

“Why would you want to do that? I don’t see the point.”

“It looks silly to me.” 

“ Do you have to have good balance?”

“What do you wear?”

“I saw people from my condominium doing it in English Bay. Must try it next                     year.”  

At least you won’t meet people from that tribe of the “used to do that ”, unless of course they confuse the sport with board sailing.

            I look up at the mountains. How many greens can I name? Do people live in the mountains? There is a hiking trail up there called Diez Vista. Can anyone see me from there?  Do us stand up board paddlers contribute to an idyllic scene? Do we appear as gondolas with our up and down motion? Who will paint us? Will the artist capture the mood and get all the greens and greys correctly? I call a group of SUPs a ringing of paddlers. Why not? There are periods of nothingness   which  might be construed as a prelude to a period of loneliness. A harbour seal pops up and gives me the once over. I am not alone. It is difficult to take a selfie on a SUP, or take a drink. I don’t see how you can text but I am sure some one has done that by now.

            I am paddling near some empty houses. The water is calm and but I think some waves would be good to test my balance. I am now near the park and I pay attention to rocks I don’t want the swish of the board to be fast forwarded to a grating of board. A bird takes off not wanting to spend the time peering at me. Was it a Barrow Goldeneye? I am getting thirsty but drinking on a board is difficult. I come about by  stepping  to the stern  and sweeping my paddle  warrior  style,  and head back to the beach. Waves and wind would have encumbered this task.

            It is an accepted tenet that for good conversation, one should listen and respond accordingly. It is assumed both parties are close enough to hear and don’t change their locations.  With SUPing  this is not the case. Waves, wind and paddle  strokes  ferment  a  Quantum  effect  whereby  your fellow paddlers appear to  be in different locations  at the same time but  not long enough  for the conversation. SUPing is not  good for gossiping  or sharing problems  but an excellent  opportunity to embrace mathematics and physics in real time.

Where else can you bob up and down and witness Newton’s Second law of motion, and since you are not sinking, this demonstrates Archimedes’s Principle. There is much to say about waves on the ocean. Waves have peaks and troughs. As the heights change with respect to time, then as all Calculus aficionados know, we have derivatives floating around with the green algae. Sometimes even partial derivatives. Wave equations are omnipresent in different shapes and sizes. The energy of a wave is never zero and a wave persists for, ever. So that big wave that nearly dumped me will continue on to Mauii or Brighton Beach looking for mischief. There are linear wave equations from d’Alembert Beroulli and Navier-Stokes Equations that explain matters. If all else fails then there is Chaos theory. I think Maxwell’s Equations can apply out here but I don’t see how, and there is no one nearby, to ask.

            I am approaching a green buoy so per the boating course I will keep it to my port side. I thought there would be a high tide while I was out but it appears there is now an ebb tide. I hear splashes and childrens’ shrills.  I pay attention   to a canoeist   kayaker leaving the shore plus  several bathers. I kneel as I approach the beach and spring off the board. Pickles  scampers to greet me. We are both off our leashes.

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